here I sit upon the top of a high snowy mountain, tossing a snowball from hand to hand.

this is the kind of time that nobody ever has time to think, so I'm forcing myself to do it, one time in my life, so that I can say that I've done it.

I'm about to leave and go back to thailand- I'll probably see the majority of the people who wind up reading this shortly- and this is the part of the journey where everybody's head tries to explode. I'm finishing up packing with a few minutes before I have to go out the door, I'm nowhere near ready, I have a lot of shit yet to deal with, and yet, I'm.... calm. I don't feel particularly nervous or panicked or happy or sad. this is simply something else I have to do, it will be a pile of shit to deal with, and when it is over and has been dealt with, that will probably be the last thought I give to it, unless at some point everything goes to hell.

in other words, this is the moment that I probably wouldn't remember if I weren't here writing this saying I probably won't remember it.

makes you wonder how many moments like this you've had in your life that you have no memory of.